*brushes the dust off her profile page*

Well, it's been a while hasn't it? Hmm, I don't know who's still watching or who cares, but I wanted to post a journal regardless.

It's been a heck of a long time since I posted anything online, although I have been messing around with some pictures since then. I've done nothing I'd consider finished or really worth posting at the moment.

I'd make the usual excuses of being busy, but the truth is that if I really set my mind to it that I could have done a load of art by now. I've been distracted, with various things... and I agree with the folks on the WiP podcast that no artist should have WoW installed on the pc upon which they work. It's been my last year in England, as my visa expires in a few days and I'm flying back to South Africa on Tuesday.

In the time I've been here I would say that I've grown as an artist, if not technically then spiritually. I have a different idea of what I need to do. At one point I considered starting a new user account on DA and everywhere else, to enforce the new feelings I have toward art, but I quickly came to the conclusion that it would be far too bothersome to have to go around making new accounts all over the show. So, I'm keeping this username and account, but I'm starting afresh as much as I can.

You see, I've come to the conclusion that I've been going about this the wrong way.

A few years ago I discovered wonderful 3D programs like DAZ and Poser, which helped me with poses, anatomy and so forth. I would say I became addicted to using them in my paintings, and I managed to produce some nice art because of them. I suppose that in some ways, there is no wrong way to produce art, if you get a result you're pleased with. However, I feel like I learned to run before I'd learned to crawl properly. Like my artistic foundation is based on a shaky construct made of toothpicks and bubblegum. In other words, I don't feel that I've learned to draw properly, and certainly not the thing I enjoy painting the most, the human form.

I don't think the skills I've picked up are useless. Digital painting is my main love, and everything I've learned about that is invaluable. Thanks to godly magazines like ImagineFX (which is like the bible for digital artists) I have plenty of new learning available to increase my digital painting skills. However, I still feel like I don't know how to draw.

Okay, sure, I've learned things on the way. Using DAZ hasn't been a complete waste of time, and I know a lot more about anatomy than before I started using it. I have examples of what my art looked like before then, and yeah, there has been improvement.

However, in addition to ImagineFX I've bought myself a book called ''Anatomy for the Artist' a comprehensive guide to drawing the body' by Daniel Carter & Michael Courtney [link] and a few other books on drawing portraits and figures, all on special to my relief and happiness. I'm going to study the thing from cover to cover, and anything else I can get my hands on. I'm determined to learn how to draw people, so that when I draw it comes from within, so that I know how things go, have a 'good working knowledge' of anatomy and am able to draw without leaning on the crutch of programs like DAZ.

IFX itself comes along with a disc full of helpful things, including occasionally, anatomy photos. Reference is always a good thing, and when it comes to drawing something realistically, it's always needed. I've gotten myself a camera for those purposes, so that I can now take photos of myself or friends, or anything at all for reference. I'm terrible at drawing/painting anything other than people at the moment, so I'll be learning other things eventually. I'd say that my major focus will be the human figure however, so the other things will come along later, most likely.

I've never been good at studying things for school or university, always sort of resented it for some reason. This feels like that sort of thing, but it's something I want to do for myself, to better myself. I'm feeling now what I wish I'd felt when I was still in school, struggling through Art Theory classes and mostly bored and uninterested. All I can say is, I don't know how 'long' this will take, as it's a truism that any artist never stops improving, and the artist that's 'happy' with their art and doesn't try, is only hurting themselves.

So, if you actually read all the way to this point, I'll let you know what this means for my DA page.

I'm moving all my art into my scraps folder, and starting my main gallery again.

I'll also be posting whatever I've done that I consider an achievement or a learning experience.

I'll most likely still post random pictures of anything that strikes my fancy, like fanart or character art.

Anyway, thanks for reading this.

-Stacey-